Birthday Wish
by Smart Angel
Summary: He has no idea how much I wished for that as well. Not only on this lifetime, but also on all my past lives. I wished he had been born with me a thousand years ago. I wonder how different I would be if he was was with me back then.


**BIRTHDAY WISH**

**Finished: July 30, 2009 8:53 PM. **

**Revised by: RavenAK and Suprema Onmyouji Isah**

What do you think about bugs? Cockroaches? They are disgusting. You shouldn't be forced to live with those things, don't you think? When you see one in your house don't you want to just kill it? Yes, that's how I feel about humans. They are the cockroaches of the world. They are disgusting, and unlike bugs, they are destroying the planet. I shouldn't be forced to live with those things. I wish could just kill them all. And why can't I, you ask? Because of my little brother.

Yes, my little brother. The almighty Hao can't kill humans because of his little brother. He is like the person who also hates cockroaches but believes they should live. Yoh dislikes humans almost as much as I do. The difference is that he respects human life. I don't.

But for him I would do anything. He asked me to never kill again. He asked me that a year ago and I haven't killed anyone since. Not humans, not the Asakura Family and not his old friends. I haven't killed anyone.

Not that I don't want to. I do. I really do. There is only one thing that I want more than to make this world safer for me and Yoh, to hear those who caused my brother so much pain scream and for them burn in hell. And that thing is my brother's happiness.

I bet you, the pathetic human reading this right now is surprised, right? Well, I don't really blame you. I didn't care for my brother so much up until a year ago. I wanted him to join me, and I felt bad for the way he was forced to live. I wished that I had raised him, that he would see my way and realized I was right. But then there was that battle… And that changes everything between us.

Since then Yoh is everything to me. In less than an hour Yoh became my world, the only person I cared about. I loved my mother. She was the only person I ever loved, that I ever cared for. I thought it would be like that for ever. But then there was that battle, and Yoh became my everything. I don't care about me anymore, about my dream. I only care about Yoh and if he is happy and safe. That's all that matters to me: my dear little brother.

And sometimes, like right now, is really hard not to kill humans. When they are looking at my brother with disgust and pity, like he is a poor little thing that can't do anything by himself, or something that just shouldn't go out in the street. The looks they give him… It disgusts me.

The urge to kill them all is overwhelming. But I restrain myself because I know Yoh wouldn't like if I did that. I made him a promise and I will keep it.

He really has changed me. I don't have the reishi anymore. Yes, another big surprise. Because reishi is what you get when you are lonely. I'm not lonely anymore. I have Yoh and for the first time in a thousand years. He is the one who makes me happy. And I know that I make him happy as well, even thought part of him is dead. I know he loves me and I know he cares for me. I see the proof every single day. But his eyes are still gentle, he still smiles at me and he tells me every day that he loves living with me, that he wished we had lived together as brothers when we were younger.

He has no idea how much I wished for that as well. Not only on this lifetime, but also on all my past lives. I wished he had been born with me a thousand years ago. That he had lived with me in my first life. I wonder how different I would be if he was with me back then. Would I still wish to kill humans? Would he have been killed along with my mother? Would he wish to kill humans as well? Would I be over protective of him, like I am now? Would he have those gentle eyes and sweet smile, even thought in the inside he is all messed up?

It's all their fault! Yoh is hurting and is their fault! Yoh is like this and is their fault! It's their fault that Yoh feels betrayed, that he hurts so badly! They told him they loved him, that they cared for him, and then… They did this! Unforgivable! I can find a way to cure his body, but I can never completely heal his soul.

"Nii-chan!!!" that voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I look down and see my brother's face, with a frown "I have been calling you for a while now, what's going on? You have to pay attention while walking, we don't want to get run over by some car you know…"

I smile down at him. He is still a child in my eyes. I know we're twins, but only in this life time. His soul is only 16 years old, and mine is 1016. I know more than him. I'm wiser. And I look at him and I see a child who suffered a lot. When I'm with him I feel my age. I feel like I'm one of those old man who see this child in an awful situation and wants to help the child. I really feel like an older brother, the older brother I never was to him, protecting their little brother.

"I was just noticing how many people are staring at us."

He laughs.

"Maybe I should wear sun glasses. That would have been less shocking for them!"

"Don't say that!" I look straight down to those gentle unseeing eyes "They are alive because of you! Because of those eyes they are here. They should be kneeling down and adoring you, like a God!"

"A God who can't see or walk?" he had an amusing smile.

I didn't found that funny at all.

"I could have taken care of myself."

"I know that."

"I would have protected you too."

"I know."

"Then why did you stood there, doing nothing? Not letting me react at all?"

"You are my older brother, Hao. Sometimes the little brothers also take care of their older brothers." I blink in surprise. It's been so long since Yoh called me by my name. He usually calls me Nii-chan. Not that I'm complaining. I like that. I like when he calls me Nii-chan. It makes me forget the fact that some time ago I actually considered absorbing his soul. "That day I needed to show you that I saw you as my brother, that I would never betray you and I needed you to trust me."

I knew that already. I knew that the second he looked me in the eye, with that unique smile of his and gave me his hand. I knew I could trust my life to him, and I knew that he would never leave me. I knew that the moment he said "We welcome you, Nii-chan". And I continued to trust you, even after they started attacking us.

"I knew that already Yoh." I sighed "Now we need to find a way to return your vision and to help you walk again."

"No." I looked at him surprised "We have to find out if 500 years from now, when you reincarnate, I'll be able to do it as well. And if not, you have to teach me how to, so in 500 years from now I can be with you."

I smile. Yes, that was our plan. I didn't want to live again if that meant Yoh wasn't going to be by my side. I didn't mind if we couldn't be twins. I would just have to wait for him a few years, I didn't mind that at all. If it meant that I could live again by his side, and that he would have a body that could walk and eyes that could see… Well, that was all I wanted. I didn't even care about the Shaman Fight anymore. I just want another chance to grow up with Yoh. That's all we want, a chance to grow up as real brothers, side by side.

"Are we almost there?" he asked, another cute pout on his face.

Yoh really is a child sometimes.

"If you stop complaining, we'll get there faster."

"No, we'll get there faster if you pay attention to what's around you."

"Why should I? So I can see these disgusting humans who I wish to kill?"

"Onii-chan." That sounded like a warning. Correction: He meant it to be a warning, but I can't take my brother seriously when he uses that voice.

"I know, I know." I sigh "I promised you I wouldn't kill. Relax, I'm not going to break that promise."

"And we have to keep a low profile. We don't want them to find out we're still alive, do we?"

Actually I do. I want them to know that we are alive and come here, so I can kill them all. Kill them for what they did to Yoh. Because of them, his so called friends, Yoh can't walk or see. I have to push him around in this wheel chair and have to explain to him what I'm seeing. And Yoh feels ashamed of himself, thinking he has to use sun glasses so humans won't see his white eyes and almost never wants to go out, for fear that we may end up causing too much trouble because of his wheel chair.

And I don't really care. Yoh shouldn't feel ashamed of himself after all he did for me, for his stupid "friends" and his so called "family", and for these filthy humans. I love his eyes and I don't want him to hide them. He loves to go outside and be with nature, so why shouldn't he? Because these humans don't want him out?

I know Yoh wants us to keep a low profile, so we bought a small house that is almost completely destroyed. The owners just wanted to get rid of it, so they didn't mind that we paid such a low price for it. They thought it was haunted, but it wasn't. Pathetic humans afraid of ghosts. Afraid of what they can't see or understand.

I only wished that shamans were different.

We try to live a normal life. We help some ghosts and try to find a way so Yoh can reincarnate with me 500 years from now. Sometimes we go out to the city, because our little house is on hill far away from everything else, like we're doing now. But not often, like I said, Yoh feels to ashamed to go out. Today is different thought. It's out birthday.

I never celebrated a birthday before. In a thousand years, I never really celebrate it. Sure, my mom was nicer to me on my birthdays during the years she was alive on my first life, but that was it. Yoh didn't really celebrate birthdays either until he moved to Tokyo. And now we're going to celebrate our together, for the first time.

That's where we're going, to Yoh's favorite restaurant. It's pathetic to think that Hao is actually going to eat in a restaurant, along with humans. But I don't kill anymore. Plus, it was Yoh's suggestion. He wanted to make my first birthday party special. He wants me to be happy, wants this to be a birthday I'll never forget. He wants it to be perfect.

It would be perfect he would let me kill the Asakura family and his old friends. Then I would be happy. I hate to think that we have to hide from them. That we have to keep a low profile so they would think they succeeded on killing us. They think we're both dead, and if they figure out we're not, they're going to come and find us. It would be no problem fighting against them, except I don't have a spirit anymore. And neither does Yoh. Plus, Yoh can't fight. He would try, but he wouldn't be able to. I would have to run away with him. Yes, run away. Because that is the only way for us to end a fight without me killing anybody. And then they would come after us again and again, and we wouldn't have peace. We would just have to run away, all because of the stupid promise I made.

The best option is to keep a low profile by blending in with the humans. That is the best way, at least on this lifetime, for Yoh and I to live peacefully together.

"We're here." I say, as we finally arrive at the restaurant.

"Finally Nii-chan." Yoh smiles, tilting his head back, so I could see his eyes and his smile.

"Stop complaining already!" I said, pushing his chair inside the restaurant. "We're here, right?"

"But you took too long!" He pouted again. Yes, that's my little brother.

"If you continue complaining, I'll tell them we'll go back right now!"

"You are mean, Nii-chan!" but even though he said that, he laughed. "Fine, I'll stop complaining. But I be happy Hao, it's our birthday! The first one we'll spend together!"

For his sake, I let out a smile. Yes, our first birthday together. Funny how before I never cared about things like that. I never cared about birthdays, but now I do. Not everyone's birthday, but Yoh's. I only care about Yoh's birthday. I want to spend all his birthdays with him. He is my little brother. We were forced to spend 16 years apart, away from each other. The Asakura Family made us enemies, tried to make us kill each other. I don't want that anymore. I want to spend every single day with Yoh, seeing him grow old, making sure he is happy. Never again shall I do something to hurt him. Not like the Asakura Family and Yoh's stupid "friends."

As the woman opened the door for us, I could see the surprise in her eyes. Clearly she didn't expect to see twins coming inside the restaurant, one of them blind and in a wheel chair.

"T-Table for two?" she asked, looking surprise at my brother. How disgusting. She could at least pretend she has manners.

"Yes please." Yoh answered, smiling. I love my brother, but I'll never understand him. I just don't get how he can be so polite with disgusting creatures like humans. Especially at the way they treat us.

"Of course… O-one minute please." The woman leaves and started talking to some man, wearing a suit. Probably the manager. I'm not surprised. It's not the first time people are not sure if they are going to let us in because of Yoh. He is blind and is not wearing sun glasses. He is also in a wheel chair. If they let us in, they probably put us in the back of the restaurant, where no customers can see us.

"Maybe I should have worn sunglasses…" Yoh says, now without a laugh. He can't see, but he knows that people stare at him because of his eyes. Once this little human child kept pointing at him and asking in a really loud voice what was wrong with his eyes. Yoh didn't seem to care that much, until the younger sibling of the child started crying saying it was scaring him. Yoh felt so bad he asked me to leave. Then when I stood up to push his chair, he heard the gasps and the whispers coming from the table. It was then that he realized that when we ate out, we were always put on the back of the restaurant. It was then that he became really self conscious of his condition. That he noticed that his presence bothered others.

"I don't like it when you hide your eyes." I answer "They don't bother me. I love looking at them, they are the door to your soul, little brother. I don't want you to hide your eyes."

"But the others…"

"I don't care about them." I don't. If it was up to me, they would be dead "And you shouldn't either. Today is our birthday. Let's celebrate, okay?"

And he smiled brightly. The smile I loved.

"Follow me." Said the woman, guiding us to, yes you guessed it, the back of the restaurant.

We followed the human in silence. Yoh probably imagining how everything looks, and me... Well, I was imagining different ways of killing all these pathetic humans. If I can't kill them in real life, I can at least do it in my mind. That's how I survived so far, killing humans in my mind.

"Here you go." A table on the very back of the restaurant, where no one could see us, but I could see the entrance perfectly. I was going to make Yoh face the entrance, so I couldn't see the humans eating, but the waiter put the menu on that side and took the chair away from the side that had its back to the entrance, leaving me with no choice. After making sure Yoh was okay, I sat in front of him, looking down on the menu.

The woman left without saying another word.

"I hate humans…"

"I know you do." Yoh smiled, his head tilted slightly down "That's why I appreciate what you do for me so much."

"Just because it's you, Yoh."

"I know." His smile turns into a grin.

Yes, just because Yoh asked me. And I'm even ashamed to admit that there was a second when I thought about giving humans a second chance. That was during that battle, the one where everything changed.

Yoh had just changed my mind, just convinced me that maybe I should give a second chance to humans. He had opened his arms and welcomed me into his life. He said he wanted to start a new relationship with me, that he didn't want to be enemies anymore. He told me I wasn't alone, that he would always be with me. He opened a smile, that I knew was mine alone, and was ready to hug me, and I was going to let him hug me, when it happened.

Mikihisa attacked; not me, but Yoh. It was the attack that damaged his spine. I remember seeing his eyes wide and blood coming out of his mouth. His body fell forward, and I was the one who held him, stopping him from falling to the ground. We looked at everyone that surrounded us, now Yoh also facing them, and saw that they were ready to fight. Ready to kill. And kill not just me, but Yoh as well.

Even Yoh's friends had their over souls ready. Anna as well, thought she had tears forming on the corner of her eyes, her face was determined. They were going to kill us. Unlike Yoh, they didn't believe I could change. They had that plan formed a long time ago, and Yoh didn't know it. And they were going to kill Yoh as well, for his was my twin brother. They knew Yoh better than I, and yet they still didn't trust him. They thought he may turn out like me later on. Another Hao. And if I survived this time, there would be two Haos.

And then they started attacking us. I was going to fight back, defend ourselves, because I knew Yoh was in condition to fight, but he didn't let me. It sounds pathetic, but he really didn't let me. He stayed between me and his friends, receiving all the attacks, trying his best to stop them from hitting me or him.

I was shocked. I knew Yoh wouldn't betray me like his friends did, but to stand in the way, sacrificing himself for me… His friends were surprised as well, but that didn't stop them. They continued attacking, until one hit him right in the chest, making him fall backwards. This time I wasn't able to hold him. His head hit the ground, hard, and he was unconscious.

I wanted to kill them all. I was going to kill them all, but then I realized I had a choice to make. If didn't save Yoh fast, he would die, and if I continued there where we were, I would become the Shaman King, and would have to die and leave Yoh alone. Alone with all of these people that wanted to kill him. I had a decision to make, fight and become the Shaman King, or risk losing Yoh, the only person who cared for me and who would never betray me.

So I picked Yoh up, and with the little Shaman King power I had, I escaped. We were both at the beach when Yoh finally woke up, days later. I had spent all my energy trying to cure him, but unfortunately, I couldn't save his eyes or his spine… He was paralyzed from the waist down and blind. But still, he didn't cry. I remember that. He didn't cry, even thought he was betrayed. He was strong, stronger than I ever seen him. His head was down and then up, almost as if he was staring straight at me… Then he smiled and said "I still have you, Nii-chan."

And since then, we have lived together. I haven't left his side. The Asakura and his friends probably think that we both died, because they haven't bothered us since then. They probably thought Yoh didn't make it, and that I killed myself so I could start training in hell again for the next Shaman Fight. And that's okay with me, like I said; it's easier if they don't find us.

"Hao." Yoh called me, for about the thousand time, I believe "You're really distracted today."

I nod in agreement.

"Just thinking about things." I answer, reading the menu for him without really paying attention to it. I notice he is silent, without making any comment and look at him. He is frowning. "It's nothing Yoh, don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?" I could hear the worry in his voice "You're not mad, are you? Or sad? Maybe we shouldn't celebrate our birthday… I never actually thought about how it could make you feel and if maybe it would bring bad memories and…"

"It's okay, Yoh." I interrupt him, less gently than I wanted. I still don't have the 'gently interrupting your brother's worry rant' down "I'm happy that you want to celebrate our birthday. I want it too."

"Really?" he smiles, but then frowns "Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Nii-chan, I may be blind, but I know when something's bothering you." He says serious. Sometimes I forget that he can be serious, it's something I see so rarely "Tell me."

"I was just thinking about that day." I don't need to say anything else for him to understand what I mean, and the emotions I'm feeling right now, as I relieve that moment. He then reaches out for me, searching my hand on the table, not knowing that they are both holding the menu.

I smile amused, and reach for his hand and give a gentle squeeze. He frowns and let go of my hand, mad because he wanted to be the one squeezing my hand, not the other way around.

"It doesn't really matter what happened back then, Niichan." He says "We're both alive and well." I wouldn't call his physical state well "And we're happy! So forget what happened, it doesn't help things if you hold a grudge."

"Easier said than done."

"I don't hold a grudge against them." He says, and that's enough to make my eyes wide. I can never understand him. How can he not hate them? He trusted those people, and they just tried to kill him! They were his friends and family, the ones who supposedly knew he would never kill anyone, yet look at what they did to him! They didn't even hesitate!

I could never forgive them for what they did. I wished they could only see us now, see how they were wrong and be forced to live with the guilt.

And as if my birthday wish had been answered, they appeared, at the front door. Most of them: Anna, Horokeu, Tao Ren, Chocolove, Lyserg and that human thing that I can never remember the name. They were all there, looking at the ground, dressed in black…

Never has the urge to break my promise been this strong. I have to grab my chair and keep a firm grip so I won't jump from where I am and run in their direction, ready to attack and kill them. Never has the flame of hate been so strong… No, I did feel like that once before, when I saw the human who killed my mother. Back then I couldn't control myself, and I killed him… Right now, I'm older, wiser, and I have a promise… Hopefully that will keep me from sending them all to hell.

Only because I know Yoh wouldn't want that.

But I can't help myself. If I won't kill them… Then at least I want to show them how wrong they were.

"I'll be right back, Yoh." I say standing up. He only nods in agreement, probably noticing from my voice that it would be better not to ask any questions.

I am halfway there, when the human looks up and sees me. I can't help but smirk as I see terror in his eyes. The others soon look up, and I see first surprise, then confusion, followed by terror and determination.

"I didn't come here to fight." I say, as soon as I'm close to them.

"Then what are you here for?" Lyserg asked, in his Japanese with an English accent "Want to kill all this humans?"

"Nope." I found myself smiling, for I can say the next sentence honestly "I don't kill anymore."

"Ha!" the idiot ainu said "Do you think you can fool us?!"

"I'm not trying to." I shrug. It's so easy to pretend that right now I'm not fighting the urge to kill them "I just came to ask what are you doing here."

"We're here to celebrate Yoh's birthday." Anna says, in a tiny, low voice. Now that I look at her, she looks nothing like the girl my brother fell in love with. Her hair was messy, she was pale, skinny and it seemed like she hasn't slept for weeks. No doubt the guilt of killing Yoh is eating her…

Good. She deserves it.

"How ironic that the people who tried to kill him are celebrating his birthday." They all look down, shamefully. Ah… So they are already feeling guilty for what they did. Good. Now I'll add more to their torture.

"Yoh was a good friend." Ren says, not looking up.

"A great friend."Chocolove agreed.

Anna looked at me and then at the others. I recognized the look in her eyes instantly.

"I see your reishi came back, right Anna?" I smirk, and she looks down "It's caused by loneliness, but it seems like you have good friends… So why…"

"I killed Yoh. I remember his face when we attacked." She answers, looking down "No matter how many friends I get, nothing can change the fact that I betrayed the only person who ever loved me. The one who saved me."

The others looked down, obviously thinking the same thing.

"But… It was for the best. Yoh hated humans, he said so himself." Ren continued "He would, in the long run, turn out like you!"

"That's where you're wrong." I said, and they were shocked for the second time in less than 10 minutes "Yoh is alive. And he is still the same Yoh as he was back then. In fact, he made me promise him to never kill again. And that's the only reason why all these people, you and the Asakura are still alive."

"Yoh-kun is…" the humans started.

"Alive?" the ainu finished.

"Yes."

"And he hasn't changed?" Anna asked, and I can see the horror in her eyes. They are finally realizing their mistake. They betrayed Yoh, and in the end they didn't need to. Yoh didn't change, Yoh was still Yoh, yet they couldn't trust him.

"Yes, in fact, I changed as well. I stopped killing for him." And the horror only grew. Again they realized they should have trusted Yoh. "We live here in the city. We don't have a lot of money or condition to live a life of luxury, but we have each other, and we know we won't ever betray one another." They all look away "We were here because Yoh wanted to celebrate our birthday. But I won't be able to enjoy it with you around."

And with that, I turn around, going back to our table. I feel satisfied, knowing that I caused them pain and that they are now suffering for what they did.

"Let's go Yoh." I say, reaching for his chair and turning him around, to the direction of the door "Let's go eat somewhere else."

"Why?" He frowned, his head tilted up.

"I just don't feel like eating here, Yoh." I answer, and again he knows better than to question me. I don't want him to know that they are here. It would cause Yoh so much pain, and I don't want that. I'll protect my dear brother, shield him from anything that might hurt him. I know he doesn't like it, but it's my way of showing him how much I care.

When they can see us, they gasp in horror. Again they can see what they did, what their betrayal caused. They can see the results of the battle, what their lack of trust cost Yoh. And Anna covered her mouth in shock, probably because of what her reishi was showing her.

I don't feel sorry. They caused this. It's their fault. They should know that Yoh is suffering, because of them, for no reason! They were wrong, and they need to see what their mistake caused. They deserve to live with it, just like Yoh is.

As we step outside the restaurant, Yoh smiles sadly and tilts his head again, so I could see his beautiful white eyes.

"Arigatou, Nii-chan." He says, in a voice so low I could barely hear him "I don't think I would have been able to enjoy our birthday with them there. It… It still hurts."

I smile sadly as well.

"Don't worry about it." I say, pushing his chair away "So, where do you want to eat?"

**Dedicated to Anne Asakura. Happy Birthday! =D**

**Well, this is one of the first times I write something where Yoh and Anna are not couple. The first time I write something with Yoh and Hao being the two main characters. I hope it didn't suck. I wrote it for Anne Asakura, who hates YohXAnna (which is my favorite couple and what I'm usually good at), to celebrate her birthday! I hope she enjoyed and you all enjoyed as well! Please Review and maybe I'll try writing something like this again… Maybe, not sure. **


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